When it comes to online dating, it’s all about putting your most authentic self out there and finding the person who’s interested and into you. You never know what’s going to spark someone’s interest and make them say yes to matching up… It could be that photo of you reading “Howl” by a campfire, how you admitted you love Bill Murray movies, the obscure Calvin and Hobbes quote you added, or a photo of you on vacation in Disneyland with your kids. The same types of little, silly things that can catch your eye when you meet someone in person, can get someone’s attention online too. You just have to be yourself and be open to what comes your way. 
I have been working on my profile for days. Every time I think it’s “perfect” I wonder what you are going to think of it(me) and will you want to meet me.? So, after another week obsessing over what to write I decided that I was going to tell you who I really am, and even if you go on to the next profile, that’s okay because we all aren’t going to click. First let me tell you about some of my blemishes; I can be a picky eater, I prefer not to argue, I need a lot of affection and I can be a worrier. Phew…. I am glad that is out of the way. The part about my hobbies. I am not athletic, don’t have any collections and prefer not to do daring kinds of things like ziplining. But, I promise you that I am one of the most interesting, curious, down to earth, fun, fascinating, warm, adventurous, caring and humble (LOL) people you will ever meet. The funniest things make me so happy, winning $5.00 on a scratch off lotto ticket, finding my long lost favorite pair of shoes, hanging at an outdoor free concert, and getting an I love u text for no reason! I would do anything for the love of my life. It would be fabulous if you have a huge heart and smile to go along with your quick wit, your inquiring mind, your adorable face and body, and if most of your interests are even different from mine. How about going for burger or frozen yogurt with yummy toppings to see if we click! Talk soon.

All these messages are fun, casual, personal, and polite, so they should land well with most online daters. You’ll notice that some of them asked for or hinted at a first date right away, while others focused on just getting a good conversation going. It’s up to you to set your own pace and decide where your comfort zone is. Just treat it the same as approaching someone you don’t know at a bar and be respectful as you explore your feelings.
Fran Greene LCSW is a nationally renowned relationship expert. Flirting is her hobby, love is her passion, and her dream is for you to have a loving relationship. She has a private practice working with singles who want to maximize their social life and couples who want to improve their relationships. And she’s also an accomplished online dating coach. To learn more about how to get back into the dating world check out her newest book Dating Again with Courage & Confidence. She is also the author of The Flirting Bible.  Visit Fran at www.frangreene.com. 
Shiny things distract me, people-watching is a favorite pastime, I live for the moments you can’t put into words, and few things transcend a cup of coffee and someone to share it with. On the weekends you can usually find me in a friend’s backyard, drinking a beer and waiting for something good to come off the grill but I love to use my Sundays to get out and exercise and get ready for the week ahead too.
The secret to a good dating profile is illustrating an authentic portrayal of yourself; after all, the whole point of online dating is to find someone you’re truly compatible with. Consider the factors that make you unique and indicate them in your dating profile. As Kimberly Eclipse in her article on ‘Online dating profiles’ on PsychologyToday suggests, ‘Present yourself in an honest and authentic way– imperfections and all. Whoever is drawn to that is good for you. Whoever walks away probably wasn’t your type anyway.’ Avoid generic statements and clichés that you think people want to hear. Keep it truthful and you’ll attract the type of person you want to attract.
Our EliteSingles member survey about online dating profiles revealed that the biggest turnoff, according to members from countries all over the world, is sexual innuendo. 23 per cent of members concluded that it is the number one dating profile no-no, followed by negativity (22 per cent) and insufficient description (21 per cent). So when you’re sitting down to write your profile, bear this in mind. Even if you think something is funny and meant lightly, it will not be well received.
If you’ve been on an adventure, are in the middle of a life-change, or have had some experiences that are worth sharing, go for it! Maybe you’ve moved to a new city, recently changed careers, are going back to school, just became a grandparent, or had your kids graduate and leave home. Chances are there are other people out there going through the same thing and you’ll have something to talk about.

When it comes to online dating, it’s all about putting your most authentic self out there and finding the person who’s interested and into you. You never know what’s going to spark someone’s interest and make them say yes to matching up… It could be that photo of you reading “Howl” by a campfire, how you admitted you love Bill Murray movies, the obscure Calvin and Hobbes quote you added, or a photo of you on vacation in Disneyland with your kids. The same types of little, silly things that can catch your eye when you meet someone in person, can get someone’s attention online too. You just have to be yourself and be open to what comes your way. 
×